I just realized that it's been over a month since I've written a blog post. A full month. I know I should feel bad about it but the truth is, I don't. See this whole blog thing is new to me. I am very active on Instagram, posting several times a week, sometimes every day and I kind of view those posts as a mini-blog of sorts. They seem less formal, more authentic, easier.
A while ago I made a commitment to myself to stop holding on to so much guilt. I was in a weird mommy-ing space where I felt like I was constantly having to say no and then constantly having to apologize for having to say no. I was complaining about it one day on the playground when a mommy friend stopped me. "Stop apologizing," she said. "This is where you are right now and that's ok. One day you will be able to say yes, but don't guilt yourself now because you have to say no. Do the things you can, acknowledge the things you can't and embrace the chaos. It will be quiet soon enough." Truth. One day I won't have small kids begging for another snack, asking for more milk and interrupting me mid-sentence, but that's because one day they won't be little. One day I will have time to take a long shower, drink my coffee while it's hot, and consistently write these blog posts, but that's because one day my kids won't need me. It will be quiet. Too quiet.
So excuse my inconsistent posting. Pardon my inability to meet you for coffee, volunteer at the school, return your phone call within a reasonable time frame, attend your fundraiser, get adequately dressed each morning or arrive anywhere on time...I'm busy embracing the chaos.